“Oh yeah, and now I’m an escort!” I was catching up with somebody I hadn’t seen in a few years.
They looked kind of puzzled. “Didn’t you always do that?”
“Well, no. I mean, kind of… well, it’s different.”
They shrugged. “It seems like everyone I know in the sex industry does a little of that, so I just assumed…”
Well, it’s different. But I realized the differences probably don’t look any different to people on the outside and might even seem boring, so I saved it for a blog post.
Imagine this, how it used to be, the golden age of the sex industry:
You blow into town. You think, “wouldn’t it be nice if I fucked a dude with a strap on and he gave me $200?” So you write an ad for that and you get 16 emails from guys who would like to fulfill that fantasy for you. You pick the two that sound the most compatible, and that evening you’ve got $400 (well, $300 after hotel) and a better broken in strap on.
BUT THEN! Imagine some puritan assholes shut down craigslist which was the only place in the world where you could place a “sexually explicit” ad. Imagine you can only advertise your time and no specific boundaries or things you think are hot. Imagine you won’t be blowing through towns and the only way to build your business is to ambiguously advertise your “time” for sale and hope to build up great reviews and a reputation that will attract good customers.
So you build a website. You get good pictures. You register yourself on every advertising and review site in your area. You try a million ways to non sexually explain the kind of sex you might like to have in wording that will not put you in jail and you consider that that kind of sex will make it into your reviews and be what men expect from you for ever and ever. You consider the potential effects of bad reviews and whether your step-uncles who always come to the strip club will find your escort site. Is your ad copy alienating the working class? Are you not attracting the leisure class? Don’t forget, you’re now a leisure item.
Now it’s time to go to town. Don’t forget to advertise two weeks ahead of time and email all your regulars. Get a calender. Don’t write in the calender, imagine if the cops got ahold of that? Screen the fuck out of all your new clients, cause all the arrests go in the newspaper your mom reads and all those reviews might not be so great in court.
Stay up reading your reviews. They like you, they really like you! What kind of person reads these reviews and wants to see you? What kind of person reads these reviews and doesn’t want to see you? Do clients know that TER won’t let you give me a 10 unless I do anal, or do they think my 7 is because I suck? When clients mention me in other ladies reviews, how should I take it?
Priceline at the last minute, go over your schedule, how many months of expenses can you make in two days? Don’t forget to subtract expenses. Don’t book too many guys in a day. No one deserves sloppy sevenths. Three is the magic number. But if three people want me Thursday, nobody wants me Friday or Saturday, and four people want me Sunday, does that mean I should stay longer?
Now hope that you wake up five days from now wanting to have five hours of excellent sex. Hope that you’ll feel like looking into souls, listening to body language, reading chakras like traffic lights, orchestrating and surrendering to ecstasy.
And it turns out you do. It turns out you can do it again and again and again, and you love it.
It’s magic, but it’s much harder magic.