someone beautiful sent me this moment that lives forever on paper
I made a resolution, about a month ago, that I would blog here at least once a week. You can see how well that’s worked out so far. What I’m going to do here is set the bar really low and just post something in the next fifteen minutes before they close this place and kick me out of their electricity, and then in the morning I’m going to go home where the internet and electricity are more cumbersome and limited.
Why did I decide to blog again? I discovered Ruth Fowler’s new blog, which I’m sure everyone else with regular Internet access found ages ago, but if you haven’t you should definitely go check it out. I read a bunch of Ruth’s beautiful true smart words and thought – fuck, why aren’t I doing this? I should try to do this.
Maybe you remember that I wrote a review of Ruth Fowler’s book, No Man’s Land, years ago and I was a critical asshole about it. Whoops. Sorry I was an asshole, Ruth.
Anyways, having been inspired by Ruth’s artful writing, I’m going to write… nothing like that. Sorry, blog. Maybe next time.
What’ve I been up to? I’m going to grad school! Like a grown up! Like a distance educated hermit grown up who lives out in the woods. It sounds great, right? Live in the woods and have an excuse to sit around reading, writing, and thinking all day plus guidance in my reading, writing, and thinking!
First I had to go to an orientation hundreds of miles away. They had the orientation right during that time where I can neither walk on water nor boat on water. It happens every year that I have to choose a side of the river to be stuck on while the ice softens and becomes rushing ice, then flowing water. Home, or the road system? It’s the most beautiful time to be at home.
This year the ice softened up early when there were two sixty above days in a row. I pulled my boat across the river, sinking deep into the soft ice with every step, and I moved into my town home. Then it got cold again and the ice didn’t go out for ages. Meanwhile, I lived in the back of my truck, visited friends, worked, and finally went to school for a month. I’m so ready to go home now!
You know how everyone always says that you have to read sooo much in grad school and you won’t get to read for fun at all? And, if you’re like me, you think to yourself that they probably don’t really read that much anyways, because you really actually enjoy spending hours a day reading? Well, they’re right. I’m reading four 3-500 page books in the next 5 weeks. Holy crap.
About a year ago, or maybe it was two years ago, a new book came out that I was so excited about. I thought it was going to be a manual for navigating healthy loving relationships in a totally fucked up culture where we’re mostly all a little fucked up ourselves. Navigating such relationships is really difficult for me and also one of my passions, so I was incredibly eager to read the book.
Unfortunately, the book only seemed to describe the problem(s), not the solution. Other people loved the book and it’s doing pretty well, so I’m sure it’s a great book. It just isn’t what I thought it would be, and you know what they say: expectations lead to disappointment.
I started thinking what a book like that would look like. If no one else would write it, I would. Not that I’m an expert, but I seem to have learned about as much as anyone else. Then I realized I had already written the book in my work journals, which model for the reader exactly how to navigate short yet loving relationships by the hour with very civilized wealthy men. Yes! I would publish all my journals in a book and call it Selling Love To The Patriarchy!
It took a long time. I took a writing class from a famous author. I workshopped my stories. I decided I hated them all and would never let anyone read them. Then I loved them. I figured there weren’t many people who would buy a book called Selling Love to The Patriarchy, so I went with Whore Diaries, which seems much more marketable.
That’s the story of how this book came to be.
My last book was about becoming an escort and working with a busy agency. This one is about being an independent escort seeing clients that I’ve chosen and screened myself.
It’s FREE today and tomorrow (Saturday and Sunday), and my goal is to give away at least three thousand books! I would be ever so grateful if you downloaded, read, and reviewed it. Tell all your friends!
Have you ever stayed up all night reading all of the stories a person has ever written on the Internet, simultaneously thinking how amazing they are and how creepy it would be if you emailed them? That was me a few years ago with Jodi Sh Doff’s Dirty Girl Diaries. Then she wrote more things. She was in all the anthologies I loved AND on the Red Umbrella Diaries Podcast.
Then! She read my book! She even said something nice about it on Facebook! I was so excited.
Then she tagged me in this thing. It’s called The Next Big Thing! One of my writing heroes thinks I’m the next big thing! Or there just aren’t that many people she knows releasing books this month. Anyways, this is the way it works:
Each person tagged answers a series of interview questions and posts them on his/her blog or website while also linking to up to five other writers. Those writers then answer the questions, post and include links to five other writers and so on and so on….
1. What is the working title of your book?
It’s called Whore Diaries II: Adventures in Independent Escorting (and I’m releasing it this Saturday!).
When I first had the idea of putting all my work journals together into a collection, I wanted to call it Selling Love To The Patriarchy, but I realized that would turn a lot of potential readers off. Then I read that for marketing, your title should say exactly what the books is. So I went with that.
2. Where did the idea come from for your book?
I live a double life. I have all these experiences that I think are really beautiful, significant, and invisible in our culture, but in my real life I can’t talk about them at all. Part of stigma and marginalizing is devaluing. Who would want to hear the stories of a fucking whore anyways? Selling my experiences as books is my way of sharing my secret life and in a way that forces the reader to value my experience. Or, to put it in stripper terms, I’ve figured out how to say, “fuck you, pay me,” to society.
That whole thought process took me a few years. Then I found out that I actually make a lot more money if I give away a bunch of books. So you, reader, you can have my book for free on Saturday.
3. What genre does your book fall under?
Memoir. In Amazon I put it in the categories Memoir->Criminals and Memoir->Adventurers. I wish there were a category for Memoir-> a string of beautiful intense stories.
4. Which actors would you choose to play yourself in a movie?
Would you hate me if I said movie stars all look the same to me? The only one I can think of is Julia Roberts, and it would be neat to have her play a different kind of hooker, I guess. People used to say I looked like Jennifer Tilly, and I looked her up online the other day and I think we’ve even aged somewhat similarly.
Speaking of movies, readers, I have an urgent question for you: I received a movie theater gift card months and months ago and I would like to use it this weekend to see something not scary that won’t leave me with an emotional hangover for no reason. What’s playing now that’s kind of like that?
Now I get to tell you about the next next big thing!
1. Definitely Carrot Quinn‘s hike from Mexico to Canada! She’s pre-selling discounted books through Kickstarter right now to fund her adventure. Also she has a book about riding freight trains and a bunch of free writing available on her blog. Someday Carrot is going to be a very famous writer.
2. Have you heard what the Red Umbrella Project is doing? They’re having series of memoir writing workshops which each culminate in an issue of a literary journal published twice a year. Here’s a link to the first one. I love everything that Red Umbrella Project puts out because they really focus on including all sorts of sex worker voices and experiences.
Since I published a book I decided to read a bunch of similar books. Probably I was supposed to do that before writing the book, but I also hear it’s dishonest to think too much before you write. So I waited, and these are some of the books I’ve read (I decided to not review awful books, such as the ones written by delusional customers about their love affair with their favorite escort or the ones written by people who seem to have nothing to say or the one by the guy who writes about non consensual sex acts with cheap escorts):
The Price: My Rise and Fall As Natalia, New York’s #1 Escort
Remember that baby stripper you met back in the day who had an unfortunate habit of shoving things up her nose, bad taste in men, and the social skills to pull it all off? This book will remind you of her.
It’s written in the authentic voice of a smart articulate lady who’s not a polished writer. There are some bad reviews on Amazon that are critical of the writing, but it’s really just like sitting down having a conversation with Natalie. I really admire her ability to tell such a long story in so much detail, and it was really great learning how others approach and experience the business.
Indecent: How I Make It and Fake It as a Girl for Hire
This is a book about Sarah Katherine Lewis’ experiences in lingerie shacks, jack shacks, strip clubs, peep booths, and so called Tantric temples. Ms. Lewis is an incredibly good writer. She’s pretty jaded about the industry and her conclusions aren’t mine.
It was so, so good to read someone else describing interactions in the same (but so different) detailed intellectual way I tend to. If you like my writing for the over-analysis of the sex industry, you’ll love this book too. If you’re into me for the woo of the sex work, you’ll wanna skip this one.
Story of an American Escort
I’m totally into all the sex workers telling our diverse stories. Which is one reason I’m loving Amazon’s self publishing for Kindle so much – we can all get our voices out there without submitting to the pimps of the publishing industry. This lady, like Natalie, has a good conversational writing tone although she’s obviously not a practiced writer.
The book reminded me of LA sooo much! I was seriously nostalgic when I read this.
For most of the book I was thinking, “really?? Just stop doing stupid stuff!” Of course, that may be more a reflection of me than the author. Like, probably there are a lot of people who think it makes perfect sense to keep working with someone who drug-rapes them into sleeping with their clients.
Anyways. This is probably representative of a lot of sex workers’ stories and if you’re into real peoples real stories in sex work you’ll enjoy it.
Hos, Hookers, Call Girls, and Rent Boys: Professionals Writing on Life, Love, Money, and Sex
THIS IS THE BEST BOOK EVER!!!! It’s 348 pages of essays from all kinds of sex workers – from those that charge $10 to those that charge $2k/hour. The editor introduces each essay personally with heart warming, disturbing, sweet, or just interesting context. There are essays in here that are like, “sex work is empowerment! Feminism yay!” There are stories from women who were violently forced into prostitution. There’s an awesome letter from a lady named Mocha Luv (I think) who’s like, “fuck all this feminist bullshit, I’m trying to make a fucking living without losing my mind.”
Read this book. You won’t regret it.
In My Skin
This is probably the best sex worker memoir ever written.
It artfully follows the author from a very normal, privileged, good girl life through heroin addiction, street work, and rising through the ranks of brothels into sobriety. This is a very honest, very well written look at addiction and sex work.
Just read it.
This whole ebook publishing thing has been really fun, and even a little profitable. I’m definitely going to do it again and again. But first I want to do it with you.
Here’s the thing. I thought I wrote a book of good stories about escorting, but what people read was How It Is To Be A Hooker. Look at the reviews! I actually have a lot to say about how it is, why I do it, and how I do it. But I don’t think I should be the only one with a whore manifesto on Amazon just because I run my mouth (er, keyboard) the most.
So, here’s what I propose: let’s make an email list. We’ll share ideas, inspire each other, and each write a little 10-30 page manifesto. I just figured out the whole amazon publishing process, so I can help you through that. It costs $5 to get an awesome cover from the lady I used and $5 to get your book formatted for kindle. The rest is free. Sometime around December 17th we’ll all release our manifestos together and tell the whole world about it.
Added bonus: next time you get an email from a grad student you can just tell them to go read your book.
Are you in? Email me: writetoecowhore at gmail.
I reach for my boobs the way I always do when it’s time to close the sale or move the fuck on, but my sweater reminds me this isn’t a strip club.
“Mmmhmm,” I nod. Keep looking interested, self.
Behind him are hundreds of other men, all in black suits, and a few dozen women dressed up like Corporate Barbie for free. Usually guys like this have to pay $300/hr to talk to me. This will pay off later, I remind myself. Much, much later. Besides, even if it doesn’t I’m making a good connection.
I’d just really prefer to get the money up front or peace out.
Guess what I did???????
Yep, I wrote a book. It’s short (30 computer pages, 80 kindle pages?) and it’s awesome.
I thought maybe you would like to hear about how I became an escort, traveled to another country, worked in a crazy collective slash agency, and indulged foot fetishists and tantric worshipers. It’s all in here, written in the thoughtful cinematic style that you already love.
For today and today only, it’s 99 cents. I wanted to make sure that all my long term subscribers could get a copy.
You can read it on your Kindle! If you don’t have a Kindle, you can still read it on your iPhone or with Kindle for PC. Possibly someday it will be available in some other way, but for now I’ve sworn my book selling monogamy to Amazon.
Speaking of Amazon, if you like my book you can help it rise through the ranks in it’s category. It turns out Amazon is a lot like clips4sale – the more you buy, review, and tag, the more people just browsing will see my book. Here’s a whole post about the care of authors on Amazon, if you’re interested.
If you all like this, maybe I’ll do it again! Wanna get an email about the next book so you can take advantage of the 99 cent first day special? Sign up below.
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Today I’ve been sad thinking about how wonderful my life is and how easily the wrong person stumbling upon the wrong thing on the internet could bring it all tumbling down, even though I’ve built a hell of a foundation on this sky castle People around here mostly fear women’s sexuality and it is scary to think about what people can do out of fear.
I hate to become one of those people who worry about what other people think, and I don’t. I worry about Consequences.
I wanted to tell you about my adventures of late, but I should probably keep them safe from google. The same with pictures I’ve posted elsewhere. Anyways, here’s some pictures:
(Worried about me and the IRS? Erotic hypnosis videos totally came through for me – and they’re way easier to do one handed.)
I was inspired. First thing in the morning after feeding the fire I dragged the generator inside to thaw. It takes a while, because it’s been very frozen for a long time. After a couple hours I drug it out and tried starting it, but the pull start wouldn’t turn, so I drug it back in and put it close to the stove. A little later it started and I hooked it up to the batteries to start the slow trickily charging. This also takes a long time, and by the time it was done the sun was starting to look a little low. I wanted to make some hypnoporn and some ecoporn – hypnoporn in the cabin must be made at the very lightest time of day, while ecoporn can (I think) be made outside.
It took two tanks of generator gas to take the batteries up from 11.4 to 12.8, and then the camcorder was dead, so I plugged it in and then it was dark. What a waste of a day.
The next day I had to walk into the village to get the mail. I brought the camcorder and flashed it along the trail. In a month when it’s much warmer this will be much easier. After the mail I stopped to visit friends, but they weren’t home. I called them on their cell phone from their home phone and they were twenty minutes away and their kid wasn’t even around. “I can use your electricity?” I asked excitedly.
“Sure,” they said. They’re so nice. I’ve been doing this weird using of my friends places for work lately. The other week I took a shower at someone’s house, did my make up and put lingerie and a cute dress on under my dirty carharts, then told her I had to run and do an odd job.
Anyways, I whipped out my camcorder and the script I’d written for hypnoporn – good thing I’d worn my favorite push up bra! I positioned the camera down low looking up so that my boobs were in the foreground and my greasy hair and just-walked-two-hours face were hopefully not so noticeable in the background. When they pulled into their driveway I was just transferring it to my laptop. A couple hours later it was live on the internet and I even got one of those email “jim has just bought your file. You have received $14.” right away!*
So, it turns out hypnoporn is a lot easier to make than ecoporn. I’m gonna keep carrying the camera around with me, capturing beautiful moments, for a week or two, and then try to edit it all together in a beautiful way.
So, uh, keep staying tuned.
* Wanna read about how I make money on the internet with hypnoporns? I made a website! Seven days to sexy passive income.